Itachi Goes to Rehab
by insano pyro
Summary: What would it be like if Uchiha Itachi was so obsessed with Sasuke that Kisame had to send his crazy ass to rehab just to get some quiet? Well wouldn't you like to know...and if you do then read this. Cowritten by mylastbreath92.
1. The Madness Begins

**Itachi goes to rehab**

**Casey: Okay I made some mistakes in the first chapter so I rewrote it **

**Alex: Casey, you crazy cracker you forgot that you forgot to put in a disclaimer! I had to rewrite the first chapter AND put in the disclaimer for you!**

**Itachi: She's no more of a crazy cracker then you are.**

**Alex: (glares) Sasuke.**

**Itachi: WHAT? WHERE?**

**Casey: SHUT UP! SHUT UP! Spooky commands you!**

**Spooky: (squeak)**

**Casey: That's right, Spooky. I don't own Naruto or any of the characters.**

**Itachi: I take back that crazy cracker comment Alex.**

**Casey: WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!**

**Chapter One: The Madness Begins  
**

"Oh, I've got you now. I've got you just where I want you... SASUKE!" Itachi screamed at his cardboard cut out of his brother Sasuke.

Kisame walked in the room wearing nothing but a towel and drying his hair off with a hand towel, "Oh, man you're not preparing your 'When I catch Sasuke speech' again are you?" Kisame asked in an annoyed tone.

"No, Kisame" Itachi said "I-I'm uh...I am clearly ...listening to music" he then scrambled around trying to find a pair of earphones.

"You're hopeless Itachi," and with that Kisame left the room to finish drying off. As soon as Kisame left the room Itachi glared at the spot he had been standing and pulled out his butterfly shaped notebook.

He flipped open the notebook to a page labeled "PEOPLE TO KILL". He took out a customized 'I hate Sasuke' pen and added Kisame's name to the horribly long list of names (A/N: the only name in the notebook was Sasuke.) Itachi sighed, he needed a life. He turned on his TV so that he could watch his home movie of Sasuke sleeping. Once again Kisame visited Itachi's room.

"Hey Itachi, do you know where the ..." Kisame stopped as soon as he noticed what was on the TV. "You're watching Sasuke sleep again aren't you? You know what I'm calling the Konoha rehabilitation center, I'm sending you to rehab." Kisame said leaving.

"I know you would never do something like that, a 'cause you love me." Itachi said smiling.

**Half an Hour Later **

There was a knock at the door.

"Kisame" Itachi called "Go get the door!" He waited but the stubborn Kisame didn't answer it. Itachi went to the door and opened it. There stood two large males dressed in white hospital uniforms.

"Is there an Itachi Uchiha here?" asked one of the guys.

"Umm... I'm the only Itachi Uchiha here that I know of." Itachi said raising his hand. The two men nodded at each other and grabbed him by the arms. "What are you doing!" Itachi asked struggling to escape their grasp. At that moment Kisame chose to enter the room.

"Oh," Kisame said "Thank goodness you're finally here, he's been buggin' the crap outta me." Itachi gave him the famous Uchiha death glare.

"What the HELL is going on, Kisame?" Itachi shouted.

"I told you I was sending you to rehab" Kisame said slightly smirking.

"KISAME YOU DAMN WATER SUCKING, SCALE BREATHING, RETARDED GOLDFISH WHORE!" Itachi screamed. The two hospital men dragged Itachi to a large white van in the driveway, leaving Kisame looking utterly offended. They threw him in and Itachi landed on the van's padded white material. Itachi sat in the van pouting horribly and waited for the van to stop so he could make his fabulous ninja get away and return home to kick the crap out of Kisame.

A while passed and at last the van stopped. Itachi now stood at the far side of the van's door. They opened but before Itachi could make a move the two hospital guys, plus three more were inside the van holding him down as another hospital guy stuck him with a large needle.

Almost instantly Itachi's muscles weakened, and before he knew it he was out cold. One of the hospital men threw him over his shoulder carrying him into the center. The man threw him into a small room with two beds and one barred window about seven feet up and slammed the door.

After 10 minutes Itachi woke up. Instantly, he noticed that he wasn't the only one in the room with his awesome ninja skillz (A/N: not just skills but skillz). He didn't know who, but he had a short glimpse of someone moving in the shadows. Itachi stumbled through the darkness to the front of the room (A/N: So much for ninja skillz). Once he got there Itachi frantically scrambled for a light switch. He found one, and flipped it on. The light flickered a little before completely turning on. Itachi looked around the room to see the person he had noticed in the dark. She was a young girl around 13 with wavy brunette hair a little longer than shoulder length. Her eyes were a cold, icy sapphire color bordered by dark lines probably from lack of sleep.

"Who are you?" Itachi asked the girl. Said girl looked up, her eyes pierced through him as she looked up.

"My name is Alex." the girl answered quietly and her attention moved back to her hands. Itachi noticed that she was holding something in them and all of a sudden a familiar scent came to him. Itachi smiled.

"What colors do you have?" he asked. Once again Alex looked up.

"I've got Black, blood Red, midnight Blue, and Purple thunder. Do you want to borrow some?" Itachi walked over to Alex and sat next to her.

"Yeah," He replied "I'll borrow Purple." Alex handed him a small vile of Purple nail polish and went back to painting her own nails Black. "By the way, I'm Itachi." A short silence followed.

"So, Itachi," Alex said after finishing her first coat, "Whatcha in for?" He frowned slightly, thinking of Kisame, the betraying gilled bastard, made him mad.

"Apparently, I'm obsessed with my brother." He said through clenched teeth.

"Oh." Alex said in reply, "I've been there."

Itachi perked his head up. "You have a brother?" He asked, hoping they'd have something else in common.

Alex smiled, "No." she said and blew on her nails. Itachi, afraid of what she meant, changed the subject.

"Okay, I've told you why I'm here now quid pro quo (A/N: Think Silence of the Lambs)." Alex brought her head up slowly; as she did so Itachi noticed that she had a huge, frightening grin on her face.

"I was sent here by my family because I like taking care of my nails." Alex said softly.

"That's it?" Itachi asked, a bit shocked and more than a bit sickened by the thought of someone not appreciating fine nail care.

"Well." Alex said still smiling, "That and I kind of set a few buildings on fire." She tried to look innocent but the smiling soon turned into hysterical laughter as her attempt failed miserably. She was rolling around on the floor and holding her sides. "And the little children went; b-but mommy where will we sleep tonight?"

Itachi smirked, "I think I like you Alex."

"That's good Itachi 'cause if you didn't I'd have to cut your throat while you slept." She replied.

"AWWW" they exclaimed hugging each other. All of a sudden a bang broke up their tender moment. They turned to the door. A man yelled in.

"LUNCH TIME!" Itachi looked slightly puzzled,

"Come on, Itachi." Alex said happily, standing up. "It's lunch time!" She grabbed him by the arm and pulled him out the door. They walked down a long white hall way with people walking in the same direction as them. There were open rooms with small beds and a couple carts with medicine with toiletries on them. Alex pulled Itachi into a large gray room with about twenty tables in it. Just by looking at it Itachi could tell it was the cafeteria. Itachi and Alex grabbed their lunches off a counter top in the back of the room. They took their food to a table in front where they began eating. Before they knew it other patients began sitting next to them, all interested in Itachi.

"You must be a newbie." said a pink haired girl with an ENORMOUS forehead who was sitting across from Itachi, practically drooling in his food.

"Yeah." said Itachi. "I guess."

"Well I'm Sakura" she said trying to be attractive but failing miserably. Alex glared at the pink haired girl.

"Leave him alone Sakura." She hissed with her deathly calm voice. "No one except Lee would ever find you or your ridiculously large forehead even remotely attractive."

"Well I wouldn't be talking Miss Freakishly tall. At least SOMEONE finds me attractive." Sakura shot back.

"That's only because your forehead is so huge it has psychic powers! It makes people become attracted to you. And it only worked with one person because no matter how much magic you use you are STILL utterly repulsive." Alex replied. " And it seems that only YOU have a problem with my height. Itachi hasn't even noticed I bet. So leave him alone. You wouldn't want to engulf MY new friend with your huge forehead like you did with the last newbie, would you?"

Sakura's face turned completely pale, "A-Alex you know t-that only h-happened once and it was a t-total accident!"

"Well you know how your forehead is massive and sometimes it just gets out of control and devours people, right?" Sakura was trembling now, her hands couldn't stop shaking and she couldn't even get out the beginnings of a sentence. She began to cry and ran out of the cafeteria in the direction of the bathroom. Alex smiled; she seemed very happy with what she had done and took a sip of milk out of the container. Itachi smiled at her and continued eating his lunch. Just then another person came over to the table; he had short red hair and was terribly pale with freckles and dark circles around his eyes.

"Oh, hey Gaara." Alex said "What are you doing here? Did they let you out of your room early?" Gaara was shifty eyed and a little jumpy.

"Do you guys have any Cocoa Puffs?" Gaara asked looking around the room (A/N: It's an inside joke).

"Uhh, no Gaara, its lunch they don't serve cereal for lunch," replied one of the patients that still remained at the table. Gaara began to look sad.

"I-I-." He was interrupted; two security guards busted through the doors and chased him around the room. When one of them finally caught up with him and tackled him, Gaara screamed out. "I'LL KILL YOU, I'LL KILL YOU ALL! AND EVERYONE WHO DOUBTED ME OR MADE FUN OF ME WILL BE SORRY! I'M GOING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD ONE DAY AND KILL YOU ALL! HA! FEAR ME! Oh and Kankurou I'm turning you into a clown 'cause you wear as much makeup as one." The two guards carried Gaara out of the room and into the hallway, once there they put him in a straight jacket and dragged him to his room. Itachi and Alex finished their lunch and walked out of the cafeteria.

"Oh, Itachi." Alex said. "I think there are some things I should tell you about before you have to meet anyone else like Gaara or Sakura." Itachi looked at Alex strangely, as if there were something he knew that his new friend wasn't telling him right away.

"Okay." said Alex. "First thing I think you ought to know is that every day after lunch we, the patients at the 'rehab center'," she said adding air quotes. "Go across the street to the insane asylum where we have to visit the people there and keep them company because we, apparently, just like them."

"You mean to tell me that Gaara isn't in an asylum?" Itachi asked disbelievingly.

"Of course not!" She replied. "He's just obsessed with Cocoa Puffs... and taking over the world and... okay! Maybe he should be in the asylum but before you got here he was pretty much my only friend! I don't know what I'd... Wait. No. I'm pretty sure I would just set flame to Sakura's head more. I do that sometimes." she said. "Oh and your first trip to the asylum is in an hour and a half so get ready, mmm 'kay?" she smiled Itachi could tell that he'd be in for a big surprise when he got to the asylum.

**End of Chapter One**

**Casey: Well there's the first chapter!**

**Alex: Took you long enough crazy.**

**Casey: I'm NOT crazy! You're the one who's in rehab!**

**Alex: REHAB! Not an asylum. Besides crazy's only a stereotype.**

**Itachi: I do NOT scramble!**

**Alex and Casey: (stare) Sasuke.**

**Itachi: WHAT? WHERE?**

**Casey: Anywho read and review. Spooky commands you!**

**Spooky: (squeak)**


	2. To The Asylum!

**Itachi Goes to Rehab**

**Casey: (Plays with Spooky)**

**Alex: Ummm... aren't you forgetting something?**

**Casey: (ignores her)**

**Itachi: Well apparently she's too occupied to listen so you have to do it.**

**Alex: But... (Looks down) I don't want to. It's her story!**

**Itachi: (glares)**

**Alex: (glares back) Sasuke**

**Itachi: Ha! I won't fall for that again.**

**Alex: You're right. It's just Kisame.**

**Itachi: I'LL KILL HIM! (Runs off)**

**Casey: What just happened?**

**Alex: Nothing, crazy. Just start the chapter.**

**Casey: Oh, Yeah! Thanks to all the people who reviewed. You shall not feel my wrath. Good for you! Now read on!**

**Chapter 2: TO THE ASYLUM!**

**An Hour and a Half Later**

Itachi and Alex were sitting on the floor of their room and playing cards when a rehab worker came in.

"Pack it up, it's time to go visit the asylum." The two roommates got up walked out of the room. They went through the hallway until they reached the front door. There were at least five guards in front and back of the patients making sure none of them ran off. One guard opened the door and slowly led the patients across the street to the asylum. When they got there the asylum patients were sitting in a circle on the floor.

"Sit down!" barked one of the guards, the rehab center patients all sat down.

"Don't worry." Alex told Itachi, "We're not going to be sitting here very long." Itachi sighed in relief; he didn't think he could last very long doing an insane circle time. As soon as the guards left Alex quietly picked herself off the floor.

"Come on, Itachi, we need to go to the bathroom." Alex said winking secretly. Itachi got up and followed Alex out of the room, as they walked Itachi noticed that the way the asylum was built was very similar to the way the rehab center was built. At the end of the hall they were going down was a large metal door most likely built to keep something in, and for an important reason too.

"This is the bathroom?" Itachi asked.

"No you idiot! It's a lot coolier than a bathroom." She said opening the huge door. "Though I have had some fun with a lighter in one before." The room was dark and there was no sign of anything in the room except a small bed. Alex turned on the light.

"AHH!" Itachi screamed. In the room was a young girl hanging upside down on the ceiling with her arms folded across her chest. Alex smiled.

"Long time no see, crazy." She said to the young girl.

"YOU KNOW THIS DEMON SPAWN?" Itachi yelped. The girl jumped down from the ceiling landing on her feet, back facing the two rehab patients, the girl turned around and stood smiling.

"This," Alex said, putting her arm around the girl's neck, "Is my younger sister, Casey." (A/N: Casey is based on me, that is my real name and the character resembles me quite a bit, like the fact that she's in an insane asylum)

"Oh!" Itachi said finally noticing the family resemblance between the two. Casey had wavy brunette hair like Alex except hers was longer and she had her nails painted blood Red, most likely by Alex. The only thing that wasn't similar was their eyes and their height. While Alex had cold misty blue eyes, Casey had fiery vermillion. Casey was about 5ft 6inches while Alex stood about 5ft 11 inches.

"Welcome." Casey said in a chilling voice. She reached behind her and pulled out a doll, it was like ones that witch doctors used only this one was a skeleton (A/N: Think of Tenna from I Feel Sick). "Say hello to Spooky!" Casey said. Alex walked up to Casey and shook the little dolls hand.

"Why hello, Spooky." Alex said. Itachi looked strangely at Alex and her sister. Alex walked over to him, "Just play along." She whispered. "In case you didn't notice she's kinda _loco._" Itachi smiled.

"Hello, I'm Itachi." He said quickly and stepped back.

"Hmmm." said Casey; "I think this is a cause to celebrate!" lifting her arms up dramatically. Itachi was confused. He didn't see any reason to celebrate and truthfully he didn't want to celebrate anything at the moment.

"Don't worry she always wants to celebrate." Alex whispered. Casey glared.

"This is not just another random celebration, today is Cinco de Mayo!" she said. Alex stared at Casey as if she were horribly annoyed.

"We're not even Mexican." Alex pointed out. Casey ran over to her sister and quickly covered her mouth.

"Shhhh!" Casey said, "Or they'll hear you!" Itachi's eye twitched.

"Who will hear?" Alex asked.

"Ze people." Casey replied. (A/N: this is actually how we normally function in everyday life) Again Itachi's eye twitched but this time Casey noticed. She quickly slithered across the room to Itachi (A/N: think Miss. Bitters from Invader Zim) she ended up in back of him. Itachi quickly turned to see Casey glaring at him.

"Shhh or I'll make sure your life ends prematurely." She hissed horribly. She then began smiling and looked at Alex.

"Casey," Alex said, "Did you get your meds today?" she asked. Casey looked down.

"You can read me like a book can't you?" Casey asked. Alex smiled at her sister and they both came towards each other for a big, heart warming hug. After that the two sisters left the room. Itachi stood trembling with fear.

"Let's go Itachi; we got a lot to do today." Casey called to him happily. Itachi quickly followed her orders fearful that she might keep her promise. Not even cool ninja peeps could defeat the insane.

The three walked down the halls of the insane asylum wandering randomly, when suddenly they spied a familiar person.

"Kakashi!" Casey yelled out. "What are you doing here?" she asked hugging him. Kakashi looked nervous.

"Oh hey," he said darting his eyes back and forth wildly, "Casey, umm w-what are you doing here?"

"Well," Casey said "You know how the whole 'you're crazy' thing is." Casey looked at Kakashi with a puzzled look, "Hey, what are YOU doing here, Kakashi?" she asked. Kakashi's eyes stopped darting and enlarged about 30 sizes.

"W-well y-you see-" Kakashi began but he was then cut off by a short female wearing a pink shirt with the initials "PAA" on it.

"Come on, Kakashi!" the woman said, "We're gonna be late for the meeting!" Alex now interested in the discussion looked up and smiled.

"I absolutely love your shirt!" Alex said, lying through her teeth. "But what does 'PAA' stand for?" Kakashi was now sweating tragically.

"Oh, thank you!" said the woman, "It stands for 'Pornography Addicts Anonymous'." Itachi, Alex and Casey looked down trying not to laugh. Failing miserably they all fell into hysterics.

"Well lovely seeing you," Kakashi said "but we must be going now." He pushed the woman down the hall and into a room along the way leaving the three laughing their asses off in the hall. After the laughing break they got themselves together and restarted their quest for adventure and other crap like that. As they walked they noticed another familiar person. Gaara.

"Oh hey guys!" Gaara said, "I've been looking all over for you. In the crazy circle the nurses assigned partners to interview. I got paired up with you Itachi, and Casey they said you could pick any group you wanted if you wanted to even join in on the 'fun', but Alex... I'm sorry to say that you uhh, got paired up with ...umm...Sakura." Alex's deadly blue eyes turned even colder with hate.

"What?" she said in her deadly calm voice.

"Don't shoot the messenger!" Gaara said backing up. "Oh and the interviews are taking place today in, like, a couple minutes and Alex your in room 666 (A/N: I wonder why) and Itachi we're in 667" Alex, Itachi, and Casey kept walking, ignoring what Gaara had just said.

"Hey! Come back!" Gaara shouted, "I AM KAZEKAGE, OBEY ME!" (A/N: Thanks IknowPPLonCRACK, great idea!) And with that Gaara ran after them. The four crazies went to their rooms and waited.

**With Forehe.. I mean Sakura **

Sakura walked down the now empty halls of the insane asylum and stopped at room 666.

When she opened to door the inside of the room was completely dark, there was no light on at all.

"Oh, just when I was sure that freak was never late." She said to herself. All of a sudden a flicker of light, a flicker from a lighter, went off and Sakura could hear someone speak.

"Mirror, mirror on the wall," said the chilling voice "who is the-" the voice was interrupted and the lights turned on so fast that Sakura couldn't even blink, "FOREHEAD!" screamed Alex setting Sakura's hair on fire. Sakura screamed and ran out of the room and through the halls in search of water to put her hair out.

**Normal POV**

Alex watched as her foe went screaming and running around. She smiled and went next door to room 667. When Alex walked in she was instantly greeted.

"What took you so long?" asked Itachi.

"Yeah," Casey said. "We heard all the noise in your room and we assumed that it would take you less than this, but then again you've always been a big disappointment." Casey said sarcastically and looked up. She smiled tilting her head slightly to the side. Alex glared but decided that arguing was a waste of time and sat down.

"Well you know Sakura." Alex said casually. "Always being slowed down by the weight of her GARGANTUAN forehead."

"True, true." Casey said. "I guess it wasn't your fault after all."

"Well since this is supposed to be an interview, why don't we tell each other about ourselves?" Gaara suggested.

"Righteous." Casey replied. "Let us get this interview started."

**End of Chapter Two**

**Casey: Finally got the second chapter up. Oo I wonder what we'll learn about the characters next chapter. Find out by reviewing!**

**Alex: Not like you actually did anything useful. **

**Casey: SHUT UP! Spooky commands...(feels for Spooky) OH MY GOD WHERE'S SPOOKY!**

**Itachi: (Holds up Spooky) This Spooky?**

**Casey: SPOOKY!**

**Itachi: (Holds a kunai to Spooky) don't move.**

**Casey: Itachi don't do anything drastic!**

**Alex: (sighs) not this again!**

**Casey: Just... give me back Spooky Itachi (steps slowly forward)**

**Itachi: (Presses kunai into Spooky lightly)**

**Spooky: (squeak)**

**Casey: SPOOKY! NO!**

**Alex: (slaps her head) SHOOT ME! **


	3. Let The Interviews Begin

**Itachi Goes to Rehab **

**Casey: You sick son of a b-**

**Alex: (slaps) Hey now you know you can't curse**

**Itachi: (plays with Spooky) **

**Casey: (sneaks up behind Itachi with kunai) Gotcha bastard**

**Itachi: Fine (hands Casey Spooky and mutters) _crazy_**

**Casey: WHAT WAS THAT!**

**Itachi: Uhh, nothing.**

**Alex: Calm down, I'm sure Itachi didn't mean it right? (Looks at Itachi) **

**Itachi: Yeah, whatever **

**Casey: (grabs Itachi's hair) say you're sorry **

**Itachi: Fine, fine I'm sorry, sorry. **

**Casey: That's better, (plays with spooky) you love me don't you Spooky? **

**Spooky: ... **

**Casey: SPOOKY? SPOOKY SPEAK TO ME! SPOOKY, SPOOKY, SPOOOOOKKKYYY!**

**Itachi: Do you think we should tell her Spooky can't talk?**

**Alex: No, she'll just hurt you.**

**Chapter 3: Let the Interviews Begin!**

"Well" Itachi said, "Who's gonna go first?" Everyone looked at each not knowing who should be the first one to spill their guts out.

"I know how we can settle this without pissing everyone off." said Casey.

"Well what is it?" asked Itachi growing impatient.

"We'll just pull names out of a hat." Casey replied.

"Well, that's a swell idea," Gaara said sarcastically "let's all listen to crazy girl."

Casey glared, "Just because I'm in a mental asylum doesn't mean I'm crazy" she said with her clenched hands at her side. Alex chuckled.

"You findin' something funny there weasel boy?" Casey asked. Alex stopped and glared at her.

"Fine," she said "Just to stop the madness I'll go first." Alex sighed, "I was born in the village of the sand and that's where I met Gaara of course. Right now I'm 15 years old and my birthday is about a week away (May 24th for all you stalkers out there). I grew up with top marks in all my classes and graduated two years early so I'm supposedly a genius or something. I'm in the rehab center because I experimented with fire and now I'm a full blown pyro (A/N: AN INSANO PRYO BIATCH!). I was sent here about four years ago after I burnt down a 12th building, and thankfully, no one was injured during the fires." Alex said, her eye twitching slightly.

"Damn people if only they stayed in for one more second." She muttered. Then, thinking of the injuries that WOULD HAVE happened, the corners of her lips twitched in the best smile she could manage.

"Okay" Casey said "I think I'll take it from here. Alex nodded her head knowing that she should probably stop talking before she 'accidentally' stabbed some one.

"I was also born in the sand village." Casey said "I was sent here about 8 years ago after I wrote 'REDRUM' all over my room and cut off the heads of all the pictures and dolls I could find, except for my good friend, Spooky, here. I am currently 13 years old. I've been here for so long I can't remember the sand village or even my parents. You'd think I was sad or something but no, not really, with all the meds we get I no longer have feelings." Casey smiled and played with Spooky some more.

Itachi pulled Alex over to the side, "Hey, Alex is it really true that she can't feel pain because of the pills?" Casey turned her head around to face the two.

"Of course it's true. How do you think I can always hear you? I usually take about 25 pills a week, my favorite is Crazy-B-Gone, and that's what allows me to hear so well! Most of my pills are antidepressants though; I can name them all in alphabetical order watch. Amitriptyline Amoxapine, Bupropion, Citalopram, Clomipramine, Desipramine, Doxepin, Escitalopram, Fluoxetine, Fluvoxamine, Imipramine, Isocarboxazid, Maprotiline, Mirtazapine, Nefazodone, Nortriptyline, Paroxetine, Phenelzine, Protriptyline, Sertraline, Tranylcypromine, Trazodone, Trimipramine, Venlafaxine." Itachi and Gaara stared at her in utter disbelief. Casey stood there smiling holding Spooky in her hands and Alex had taken the time to zone off for a couple of minutes.

"How the hell did we get to the crazy girls medication?" Gaara asked, "We WERE supposed to be interviewing each other!"

"Who cares." said Itachi, "since when did we decide to listen to the weirdoes that run the asylum or rehab center'?"

Gaara sighed, "Well I guess your right, I mean the last time I listened to a nurse or loser person from the hospitals was when I was all hopped up on meds and I couldn't figure out my own name."

"When was that?" Alex asked knowingly, snapping out of her zone.

"Oh," Gaara said, "just yesterday." Itachi just starred at Casey and Alex, knowing not to talk about what Gaara had said after looking at Casey's expression.

"Well let's get out of here; I think we've spent too much time in this room anyway." Casey said. Everyone agreed.

"Where should we go?" Itachi asked helplessly.

"Jeez you are stupid for someone who's supposed to be one of the top ninja in Konoha," Casey said, "We've got anywhere to go that we want and you don't know where it is you want to go."

"Fine," Itachi said, "let's just get out of this room. I hate it in here and the white walls are making me utterly SICK!"

Gaara hopped up gleefully, "Let's go to Chuck-E-Cheese!" he exclaimed.

"No way. Let's go somewhere we won't have to hide our faces." Alex said dryly.

"I know. Let's go into the hospital gym! It's got a bunch of cool games and basketballs and things we'll have a blast!" said Casey jumping up and down.

"Wow," said Alex, "I think Crazy's finally got an idea that not half bad." Casey glared, her face turning red.

"FOR THE LAST TIME I AM NOT CRAZY!" Alex walked to the door and opened it.

"Whatever you say...Crazy." she said leaving the room, Itachi and Gaara following her.

"DAMMIT! WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK I'M CRAZY?" Casey screamed.

Itachi poked his head back in the room, "Maybe because you live in a mental institute." he said.

"Oh yeah?" Casey asked, "...Sasuke."

"WHERE? I-I mean, well we gotta go. Come on." he said trying to keep his eyes from shifting in search of his younger brother. The two walked out of the door catching up with their friends.

**At The Gym**

"So," Alex said looking around an empty, tan gym. "Where are all the games and balls?"

"Oh they're in the game room, right back there." Casey said pointing to a small door in the back of the gym.

"Itachi, go over there and get something to amuse me." Alex commanded.

"Aye, aye captain!" Itachi replied, sarcastically saluting, and walked to the door. When he reached the door he pulled on the handle but finding that it wouldn't budge. "It's locked." Itachi said to Alex.

"What do we do now genius? Do you know where to find the keys?" Alex asked Casey.

"Well I know who has the keys, but I'm not to sure how to get them from him without a copy of "Icha Icha Paradise." Alex stood staring at her sister, her mouth wide open. "Are you serious? Kakashi's got the only key?" she asked.

"Yep, he got them as a reward for admitting he has a problem with porn." Casey answered.

"Well I think I've got an idea how to get the keys from him, but I'm gonna need Itachi to help me, Okay?" Alex said looking at Itachi.

"Should I be worried?" Itachi whispered to Gaara, "Well, not if you don't need one of your limbs." Gaara answered jokingly. "Come over here Itachi." Alex called out to Itachi, Itachi did as she commanded.

"What is it exactly that you want me to do?" Itachi asked.

"Nothing too difficult." Alex replied smirking. She took him to the corner of the room and whispered with him for a few minutes. "We're gonna go out in the hall for a few minutes, okay?" Alex said to Gaara and Casey, the two left the gym and closed the door quickly. Casey and Gaara quietly sat in the gym waiting for Itachi and Alex to come back with a plan.

Outside the gym were Itachi and Alex.

"So you know what to do right?" said Alex.

"I'm good, let's go." Itachi answered. They walked to the PAA (Porn Addicts Anonymous) meeting room where Alex poked her head in the room and politely said, "We need Kakashi out here for a moment." Kakashi got up and walked out of the room,

Alex quickly grabbed him and threw him in the room across from the PAA meeting room. Inside Itachi grabbed Kakashi and beat the crap out of him; afterwards he stole his pants and left the room. "Got 'em!" Itachi said.

"Not bad." Alex said, "You got 'em in 2 minutes and 14 seconds. I could've gotten 'em in 1 and a half but I guess you did alright." Itachi glared at her as they walked back to the gym.

"Fine next time you're doin' it." Itachi said.

"Yeah," Alex said, "'cause there's gonna be another one of these situations."

Itachi looked at her again.

"Oh trust me," he said, "there will be."

Alex rolled her eyes.

"Just get the keys Itachi." Alex said. Itachi dug in Kakashi's pants and found the key to the game room, the two rehab patients smiled at each other in agreement. When they got in the gym they saw Casey and

Gaara were sitting on the floor playing Patti cake.

"We've got the keys." said Alex. She walked over to the game room door and stuck the key in. Alex looked at the lock for a few minutes with her face even blanker than usual.

"The door... was already open." she said looking at Itachi.

"That's impossible; I pulled as hard as I could!" He shouted.

Casey walked over to the door and pushed it open with one hand.

"That's because you have to push you idiot!" She screamed at Itachi. She once again pushed open the door and got out a huge dodge ball and threw it at Itachi's head.

"ITAI!" Itachi cried.

"Jeez you're stupid Itachi!" Casey and Alex went in to the game room. A few minutes went by and Alex came out with two basketballs. Casey stayed in for about 3 minutes longer than Alex.

"If she's not out in 30 seconds we're sending in a search party for her" Alex said mockingly to Itachi. Finally, Casey came out running fully dressed from head to toe in protective pads.

"LOOK AT ME! I'M A GIANT MARSHMELLOW!" she screamed running into a wall.

"Ouch." said Alex as her younger sister hit the wall. "That looked like it hurt."

"I'm okay, I'm wearin' a helmet." Casey replied.

"What a relief." Alex said sarcastically.

"Hey, Alex." Itachi called. Alex spun around swiftly at the sound of his voice.

"Yes?" She asked, her voice telling him not to beat around the bush.

"Why can't I use my Sharingan? I normally have it activated all the time but when I try I just feel dizzy."

"Do you remember when they gave you that shot that rendered you unconscious?" Alex asked.

"I believe so." He replied.

"It basically seals your chakra. Like a muscle relaxant. The drug is called Methocarbamol. I studied it back in the academy. Also, I used it on a couple...foes of mine." She added with a slight smirk.

"But surely it can't suppress chakra for that long." Itachi said.

"Your right, it can't." Casey said walking over in her protective pads. "They put it in the food and mix it in with the daily pills that everyone gets."

"Usually I don't eat unless I have to," Alex said. "So I'm part of the reason that they mixed it in with the other pills."

"And then there are times when we the 'crazies' do get our strength back. Trust me; it's not a pretty sight." Casey said.

"Well at least, not for the people who aren't patients." Gaara said out of no where.

"Hey, I'm bored let's do something fun." Casey said.

"Like what?" Alex replied.

"Oi, Casey." Itachi said. "Don't those pads you're wearing come with those big Q-tip shaped sticks that people used to beat the crap out of other people?" he asked.

"Oh yeah!" Casey said, "I remember seeing those in a huge box I saw in the back of the game room."

"Well than," Alex started, "I think that it's only fair that Gaara and Casey should fight each other while Itachi and I watch."

"Good idea Alex!" Itachi said. Casey and Gaara raced into the game room. Gaara grabbed his padding and a fighting stick and Casey, already dressed in padding, grabbed her fighting stick and ran out into the gym.

"I call that Casey has to fight in my honor!" Alex called childishly.

"What?" Itachi questioned, "No way, I want crazy girl to fight in my honor!"

Casey glared, gripping her fighting stick tightly in her hands.

"WHAT THE HECK?" Gaara yelled, "WHY DOESN'T ANYONE WANT ME TO FIGHT IN HONOR OF THEM?"

Everyone stared at Gaara.

"You can fight in the honor of Itachi, Gaara." Alex said trying to seem like the nice one. Casey grabbed Spooky and held him up as if he were about to 'speak'.

"Now, please take your seats lady and gentleman the fight is about to begin!" 'Spooky' squeaked.

Casey and Alex were in one corner.

"Okay watch out for your eyes okay he loves to stab people in the eyes." Alex said trying to give her younger sister some helpful advice. Meanwhile Gaara and Itachi were in another corner doing the same thing.

"Okay this is going to be a hard battle to win," Itachi told Gaara, "you're goin' up against a crazy girl, and everyone knows that crazy girls fight dirty so protect yourself. My main piece of advice is just trying to tire her out than make a move. Now, go get 'em champ!" Itachi said to Gaara.

Alex patted Casey's shoulders.

"Make me proud, ya nutcase." Alex called to her sister as she moved to the center of the gym. Gaara was waiting for her in the center of the room, standing patiently awaiting the big fight. The two stood there not doing anything but staring straight into one another's eyes when... the doors of the gym flew open.

**Alex: I wonder who the guest star is gonna be.**

**Casey: There's gonna be a guest star in the next chapter?**

**Itachi: Why do you think that Insano Pyro made the end super dramatic?**

**Casey: I don't know, she's kinda not right in the head if you know what I mean. **

**Itachi and Alex: stares **

**Alex: Okay, Itachi who do YOU think is gonna be the guest star in the next chapter?**

**Itachi: I don't know.**

**Casey: I just got it! I know who's gonna be the guest star! It's so obvious!**

**Alex: Who is it Crazy?**

**Casey: It's Spooky, duh.**

**Alex and Itachi: stares**

**Alex: Casey, a guest star is some one who hasn't been in the series before. **

**Casey: Ohh, you sly boots.**

**Itachi: What the heck? I don't think I can take anymore of her craziness. **

**Spooky: squeaks **


	4. Guest Star Revealed! OoOoO

**Spooky: Squeak**

**Casey: That's right Spooky we're gonna find out who the guest star is in the next chapter!**

**Alex: Why are you always talking to that doll like its a person?**

**Casey: Because Spooky is a person loser.**

**Itachi: Alex, why are you so surprised that she does crazy things?**

**Alex: That's a very good question that I don't happen to have the answer to.**

**Casey: Spooky, why does everyone think that we're crazy?**

**Itachi and Alex: Gee, I wonder why.**

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 4: Special Guest's Identity Revealed!**

The doors flew open, in the doorway stood a rather familiar looking character in a white hospital gown.

"Neji!" Gaara screamed running to him. Neji didn't move he stood as if he were frozen solid, "When did you get here?" Gaara asked trying to get Neji to say something.

"Oh...what?" Neji asked.

"When did you get here?" Gaara repeated sounding a little annoyed.

"Umm... I don't know." Neji said looking around the room with a confused look on his face.

Gaara inched closer to Neji, "What happened to you?" Gaara asked.

"The last thing remember," Neji said, "is the guards tackling me and strapping me down to a bed and giving me a shot that made me reeaaally sleepy."

Everyone stared at Neji not knowing what to think.

"Oh, I know what happened they just gave you something to calm you down and make sure that you won't be able to cause any trouble for a while." Casey said.

Gaara looked at Neji a little concerned, "Why were you sent here, Neji?" Gaara asked.

"Well I can't quite-" Neji stopped in the middle of his sentence and stared right at Casey. "What is that?" he asked walking over to her and looking straight into her arms.

"This is Spooky." Casey said happily, holding him out for Neji to see.

"He's so very adorable and irresistible!" Neji said, eyes widening.

"Yes, I know this." Casey said smiling.

"Is he yours?" Neji asked.

"No," Casey said, "not really, Spooky belongs to everyone I just take care of him."

Itachi glared, "What the heck," he said. "You and Gaara should be fighting, and Gaara has to be winning so that I'm not disgraced!"

"But we're talking about Spooky!" Casey said.

"WHO THE HECK CARES ABOUT SPOOKY?" Itachi asked grabbing Spooky and throwing him on the ground, then turning and facing Alex.

"Bad idea." Alex said pointing over at Casey. Casey's head was down and her face was dark, she stood quietly looking at the spot where

Spooky laid motionless on the ground.

"I care about Spooky." she said picking her head up slightly, "And...No one...touches...Spooky...WITHOUT MY PERMISSION!" she screamed out. A ring of fire mystically lit up around her and the fallen Spooky. Casey picked up her head and started shrieking horribly the flames illuminating the redness in her eyes. Itachi, Gaara, Alex, and Neji covered their ears. Just then, over the sound of Casey's screams, Spooky squeaked causing everything to stop. Casey looked down at Spooky and bent over to pick him up.

"You're right Spooky," Casey said, "Violence is not the answer." Everyone but Alex stared at her, their mouths and eyes wide open shocked at what they had just witnessed. Casey walked towards Itachi and grabbed him by his hair, "You are so lucky Spooky stopped me, if he hadn't you'd probably be dead by now. If you ever do anything like that again I'll make sure that Spooky is the least of your problems. After all it's kinda hard to live with a railroad spike through your face isn't it?" Casey smiled and giggled, "Now apologize t Spooky and all will be forgiven." Itachi looked at Alex, his face as pale as can be.

"Just do it you dumb ass." Alex whispered to him. Itachi turned around and looked at Casey he opened his mouth,

"I-I'm so, so, so sorry Spooky, please oh please don't hurt me!" Itachi said (A/N: so much for him being tough and scary) Spooky squeaked.

"Spooky has forgiven you, now go." Casey said pointing. Itachi obeyed.

"Well, now that Casey has scared you all where were we?" Alex asked.

"We were about to fight but then Neji came and I asked him some questions." Gaara answered.

"Oh, yes. That's right." Casey said.

"I think the drugs are wearing off." Neji said, looking a bit more active.

"That's good," Gaara said, "Do you remember anything important like how or why you got here?"

Neji looked at Gaara, "Umm, yeah I think so."

"Why?" Gaara asked.

"I got sent here by Tenten. She thinks I'm crazy." Neji said slowly.

"Do you know what you did to make her think you were crazy?" Alex asked pretending she cared.

"It might have been the fact that I kidnapped Akamaru from Kiba and dressed him up like a girl with some things I stole from Tenten's dresser and makeup kit. Then I hung him from a flag pole." Itachi stared at Neji.

"That could be why." he said. Itachi sighed; he missed his old Sasuke obsessed life and wanted so desperately to go back to it.

"You know," Itachi said, "Sasuke's birthday is tomorrow and every time on his birthday I go over to watch him in the shadows in a stalky type manor. I guess this year I'll just have to miss It." he walked over to a corner in the room and sat down feeling upset.

"Awww, don't feel bad Itachi." Casey said feeling quite peppy. "I used to fell like that all the time when I couldn't do the crazy stuff I used to do, but now I'm so heavily medicated nothing keeps me down. Hey want some meds? They're really good!" she said holding out a handful of pill bottles and shaking them violently. Itachi ignored her.

"Wow, he must be really upset," Casey said "nobody can resist the pills they give me." she said swallowing a couple pills at once.

Alex signaled for everyone to circle around her, "We need to do some thing special for Itachi tomorrow." she whispered, "That way we can help his crazy ass celebrate his brother's birthday." They all nodded in agreement.

"Great idea, but what should we do?" asked Gaara.

"I know," Casey said, "let's get him something that will remind him of Sasuke and his old creepy stalker like lifestyle!"

"Okay so maybe something that has a lot of secrets in it and that if you saw it, it would be an extreme invasion of privacy." Alex said.

"Oh, let's get Itachi, Sasuke's diary!" Gaara exclaimed.

"That's a great idea but how are we gonna get it, and better yet how do we even know if Sasuke has a diary?"

"Oh trust me," Neji began, "Sasuke not only has a diary but he thinks it's so sacred that he keeps it in a safe underneath his bed." he said finally joining the conversation.

"And how, pray tell, do you know this Neji?" Alex asked crossing her arms across her chest and giving Neji a slightly intrigued look.

Neji let out a sigh.

"A while back, I went on assignment with Sasuke and we ended up having to live with each other for almost a month, and let's just say I learned a little bit more than just where Sasuke keeps his diary." He said cracking a smile on his face.

"Okay, now all we have to think about is how we're supposed to get the diary." Alex said.

Gaara picked his head up.

"Hey, I think I can get Temari or Kankurou to sneak into Sasuke's house and steal it." he said.

"Great." Alex said, "So then to get it Gaara just say you need to use the phone and call your siblings and tell them what to do. Oh, and take Neji with you."

Gaara nodded his head, "Right!" he said turning and left the gym.

"In the meanwhile," Casey said, "we can just kinda relax." And they did, until the two sisters started to get bored.

"Where the hell are Gaara and Neji?" Casey asked impatiently.

"I don't know," Alex said. "It's been an hour."

"How long does it freaking take to make a phone call?" Casey growled. Just than Neji and Gaara burst through the doors of the gym laughing their asses off.

"What the hell have you two been?" Casey yelled. Neji and Gaara just giggled.

Alex looked at them closely.

"Are you two...drunk?" she asked.

Neji giggled.

"Yeah." he said and looked at Gaara playfully.

"But only a little bit." Gaara finished for Neji.

Casey stared at them.

"So instead of making the phone call to get Sasuke's diary you... got drunk?" she said angrily.

"No, no, no silly bear," Neji said drunkenly, "We made the phone call and **then** got drunk."

"Are they gonna do it?" Alex asked.

Gaara nodded his head.

"Mmm hmm, they've already got it they're gonna drop it off any minute now." he said staggering.

"Okay that's great and all but where did you get the sake?" Casey asked hoping they had brought her back some.

Neji and Gaara chuckled quietly.

"We found a big bottle of naked sake in the room we went into to make the phone call." Neji said staring at Casey awkwardly. Gaara's eyes searched the room and stopped when they noticed Itachi still sitting in the corner sulking. Gaara walked over to him.

"Hey there mister grumpy head." Gaara said, words slurred.

Itachi picked his head up to look at Gaara.

"Don't call me 'Grumpy head'." Itachi said slowly.

"Why," Gaara asked, "everyone acts like a Grumpy head every once in a while."

"Not me." Itachi said.

"Mmm hmm, Grumpy head." Gaara said.

"I said not to call me a Grumpy head, baka." Itachi growled.

Gaara just smiled.

"Okay mister Grumpy head." he said.

"If you wish to live Gaara," Itachi said in a threatening voice, "you will stop calling me a Grumpy head."

Gaara nodded his head. "You're right, you're right...Mister Grumpy head." he said in a low breath.

Itachi's face became bright red. "I AM NOT A GRUMPY HEAD!" he screamed.

"Jeez Itachi, he was only playing around with you." Casey said. "There's no reason to get upset."

Itachi glared at Gaara then sighed.

"You're right Casey." He said lowering his head. "I guess not stalking Sasuke has made me a little-" he paused and glared up at Gaara "-grumpy."

"Don't worry Itachi; we've got a big surprise for you tomorrow." Alex said. "But right now we've got to get you thinking about something other than Sasuke, okay?" her voice sounding motherly and caring for once.

Itachi nodded, smiling.

"I know what we can do!" Neji said raising his hand and waving it around like a kindergartener. "Let's fight!" he said bringing his clenched fists up in front of his face.

Casey looked at Alex.

"Yeah, weren't we suppose to do that before Neji came?" she asked.

"Oh, yeah." Alex said eyeing Neji a little bit.

"Should we start fighting over again?' Casey asked. Alex shook her head no, "We'll find something else to do." she said.

"LET'S PLAY DODGE BALL!" Gaara screamed. Itachi's face light up, he remembered what it had been like when he and Sasuke were younger and they were in the same gym class one time.

**Flash back**

Itachi stood holding a gator skin dodge ball in both of his hands concentrating on his brother across the room from him looking nervous and also holding a dodge ball. Itachi smirked as he noticed that it was brother versus brother. Everyone on his team and Sasuke's were out and it was up to either Itachi or Sasuke to win the last game. It was obvious that Sasuke wasn't to into the game because he had been hiding behind all the older and bigger kids on his team as the game was just beginning which was how he stayed in the whole time. Sasuke knew that Itachi was way better at the game than he was but knew if he lost that all his team mates would be angry at him.

Then, Sasuke remembered how his father had talked to him about his rivalry with Itachi earlier that morning. His father had told him that Itachi was no better that he was and that he loved them equally and never thought that Itachi deserved any special treatment. Remembering that gave him hope and he now was secure enough with himself to take charge of the situation and do something heroic.

Sasuke took the dodge ball and with all his might he aim straight at Itachi's head. As the ball headed for Itachi he quickly moved out of the way and without using any effort (it seemed) he threw his dodge ball and it hit Sasuke right in the stomach. Itachi's team mates cheered and followed him out of the gym. Sasuke's team mates however went over to him and pushed and kicked him down as they slowly exited the gym. (A/N: Stupid Sasuke he sucks now wonder Itachi kicks his ass in everything!)

**End Flashback**

**

* * *

**

Itachi, now grinning from ear to ear picked his head.

"That's a great idea Gaara."

Alex turned her head to Itachi and gave him a strange look.

"All right." she said dismissively.

"YEAH!" Gaara and Neji yelled giving each other a high five.

"Go get the dodge balls Casey." Alex ordered. Casey ran into the game room and came out with five dodge balls. She threw the dodge balls into the center of the gym.

"Set them up on the center line of the gym." Casey called out to Neji and Gaara. They did as ordered and walked over to where Alex, Casey and Itachi were standing.

"Now how do you guys want to pick teams?" Alex asked.

"I think we should pick two captains and they should pick people one at a time." said Casey.

"I like that plan and hereby nominate myself as one of those captains." Alex said.

"Than I want to be the second one!" Itachi said raising his hand in the air.

"Fine." Alex said, "Than I'll go first, I choose Casey." Casey smiled and hopped joyfully over to where Alex was standing.

"Wait." Itachi said. "Before we go any further, there are an odd number of people here."

Alex looked over at Itachi.

"Itachi, you poor, poor little retard. You still haven't figured out that Casey and I aren't like normal people have you?" She shook her head and smiled at him. "You can have both Neji and Gaara that way when we kick your ass you won't complain that the teams weren't fair."

Itachi rolled his eyes.

"Whatever, come on Neji and Gaara let's go huddle up." he said. As the guys tried to make up a good enough plan to help them win the game against the girls, the girls just stood and talked quietly about random things, not caring at all about how to win the game.

"Alright, now let's get out there and win!" Itachi said loudly in order to get his teammates excited.

"Finally." Casey said.

Itachi scowled at her.

"Alright everyone grab a dodge ball." he called out and everyone did as they were told.

"Okay," Itachi said, "the game will begin when I count to three." Itachi and his teammates held their dodge balls over their heads and got ready for Itachi's call.

"ONE...TWO...THREE!"

**End Chapter **

* * *

**Itachi: Geez, Insano' it took ya long enough to post this last chapter!**

**InsanoPyro: It's not my fault I have to do work and other important stuff like that.**

**Itachi: And what pray tell is this important work that you've been do the past few days? (Smirks)**

**InsanoPyro: shifts eyes back and forth Umm... you know important things for the Uhh.. President, I can't tell you any more 'cause everything I do with him at the white house is extremely secret...and stuff**

**Itachi: Right. **

**InsanoPyro: (Glares) get him Spooky (points at Itachi)**

**Spooky: Squeak (jumps at Itachi)**

**Itachi: (screams) OH DEAR GOD HELP ME, PLEASE SOMEONE GET THIS DOLL OFF ME! SOME ONE PLEASE SAVE ME FROM THIS EVIL MONSTER DOLL THING!**

**Spooky: (jumps into Insano's arms) Squeak**

**InsanoPyro: (Cutesy voice) Good Spooky! (Strokes and pets Spooky)**

**Casey: OBEY THE FISTS AND MAKE SURE TO REVIEW OR SPOOKY WILL GLADLY COME AFTER YOU! Tee hee that rhymed.**


	5. To Dodgeball Or NOT to Dodgeball

**Itachi Goes To Rehab **

**Alex: You're gonna lose this game Itachi.**

**Itachi: That is so NOT true! We're gonna cream you in this game. **

**Casey: Yeah right Itachi you suck and you know it.**

**Itachi: How would you know that? You just met me.**

**Casey: Whatever, we're still gonna beat you.**

**Itachi: What makes you so sure?**

**Casey: I just know Alex and I always win.**

**Itachi: (sarcastically) Riiiight! **

**Spooky: (English accent) she is right you know, they jolly well are very good in fact and otha English banter. (Sips tea)**

**Itachi: (mouth drops open) did anyone hear that? Spooky just talked AND WHERE THE FRICK DID YOU GET TEA?**

**Spooky: (English accent) this is bloody Japan guvna and to answer your question this tea was specially made for me by your motha.**

**Sasuke (at random): O.o dis on you...**

**Itachi: (glares) 1. She's your mother-sorry motha-also and 2. SHE'S... DEAD!**

**Sasuke: (sad, about to cry voice) oh yeah... ITACHI YOU BASTARD!**

**Spooky: Anywhooooo... why is there bacon in the soap? WTF how should I know you're the one who got it from ... OOOO YOUR MOTHA **

**Casey: That's what I've been telling you all along loser. (Rolls eyes)**

**Itachi: (glares at Casey) my...mother... does not...put...BACON IN SOAP! Errr... I mean...didn't...DAMNIT!**

**Spooky: Squeak**

**Chapter 5: Dodgeball or not to Dodgeball**

**Last time:**

"Okay," Itachi said, "the game will begin when I count to three." Itachi and his teammates held their dodge balls over their heads and got ready for the call.

"ONE...TWO...THREE!"

* * *

Itachi smirked as he hurled the ball he had as hard as he could at his cocky friend Alex, who calmly stood looking at him. As the ball hurled towards her, Alex, in the blink of an eye, zigged out of the way and threw the ball that she had straight at Itachi. Alex had done this so fast that Itachi didn't even have time to move out of the way as the ball hit him straight in the stomach. Itachi fell back and looked absolutely clueless as to how Alex could have gotten him out... and without him even knowing it! 

Alex smiled; Itachi's jaw hung wide open as he still sat on the ground. Alex cocked her head to the left slightly and said in an 'I told you so' voice.

"Itachi, you're out." She looked over at her sister and gave her a high five. Itachi finally got up and stomped loudly over to the side of the room and sat down muttering and scowling.

"Okay boys," Casey called to the remaining members of Itachi's so called team. "We're ready when you are."

Gaara and Neji looked at each other and nodded; they held their dodge balls up in the air over their heads and waited for the other team to make a move. Casey gave a sly look and inched forward slightly, the other team knew the girl's team was going to make a move and tried to get ready for it. Just then Casey's arm whipped forward as if she were going to throw the ball at Gaara but ducked down and Alex jumped over her as she threw her dodge ball at Neji who didn't move out of the way because of their quick movements.

Alex waved her hand at Neji and smiled.

"Bye." she said and Neji got up and went to the side where Itachi sat. The two sisters looked over at Gaara who was standing innocently near the corner of the other side of the room. They gave Gaara an evil smirk as they walked closer to one another. Casey whispered something to Alex and they inched back to their original positions. Gaara had a large feeling of pride in the bottom of his soul and truly believed he could win for the sake of his team. Gaara sighed and took a deep breath before gripping his dodge ball tightly in one hand. Gaara secretly aimed straight for Casey's head and cracked his knuckles.

Itachi was beginning to grow impatient and he yelled out to Gaara.

"Hurry up and get them out!" Gaara took another deep breath and threw the ball. Instead of hitting Casey in the head like he planned, the ball hit the backboard of the basketball hoop and came back and hit Gaara in the face.

Itachi groaned and hit the palm of his hand to the top of his forehead.

Casey and Alex broke out into laughter and pointed and threw their dodge balls at him.

"Good game." Alex said mockingly to Itachi. Itachi glared at his teammates and muttered quite unsportsmanlike like things to them. Alex and Casey gave each other a very cheerful high five.

"How did you guys get so good at dodge ball?" Itachi asked.

Casey turned her head towards him.

"We're good at all games that involve hurting or throwing things at people in anyway."

Itachi dropped his head in shame and quietly muttered.

"That explains a lot."

Alex smirked and tilted her head to the side, "I told you that we'd win."

Just then the gym doors opened only to reveal a very familiar person.

"Finally," Gaara said rolling his eyes and walking over to the door. "What took you so long Kankurou?" he asked standing next to his brother.

"There was a lot of traffic thank you very much." the kitty-boy said. Gaara glared at his brother.

"What traffic? Didn't you just kinda poof here?"

Kankurou's eyes shifted from side to side.

"Uhh... NO! We drove here in my...cat mobile...after we got it painted a beautiful purple."

Gaara sighed then looked around in back of Kankurou.

"Hey Kankurou?" he asked. "Where's Temari?"

Kankurou frowned then put his hand on his chin.

"Ummm... she, oh that's right she got in a fight with one of the guards after they made fun of her hair and was dragged somewhere."

Casey, Alex and Itachi were completely baffled; they were all thinking the same thing.

'**_Gaara_**_ is the normal one in his family?'_

Gaara sighed once again and looked up and his brother.

"You did at least bring the **_thing _**didn't you?" he asked trying to keep Itachi's surprise on the down low. Kankurou nodded his head and handed Gaara a gift bag that was pink and had tissue paper flowing slightly out of the bag. Gaara peaked in the bag and giggled quietly, "Thank you Kankurou, you may leave now." Gaara said dismissing him.

Kankurou turned around and started walking back the way he came, Gaara smirked and walked over to Casey and Alex and huddled into a circle so that Itachi wouldn't be able to see.

"Is it in there?" Casey asked.

"No," Alex answered sarcastically, "It's with Itachi right now."

Casey frowned and looked at Gaara.

"Why did you give it to hi- **_Oh!_** I see you were being sarcastic." she wagged a finger at Alex and Gaara rolled his eyes.

Alex looked down into the bag and smirked.

"I think we should read this before we give it to him," she said still smirking, "you know, just to make sure that it's really Sasuke's." Casey and Gaara nodded their head agreeably and backed out of the huddle.

Just then a loud voice came out of no where.

"All rehab patients please head towards the front doors, we will be heading back to the rehab center now." said the voice.

Itachi jumped.

"What was that?" he asked rather shaken. "Oh my God! This place is really getting to me! THE WALLS ARE TALKING!

"It was the intercom you baka!" Neji yelled at Itachi who was holding onto him tightly. Itachi frowned and let go of the angry Hyuuga.

"Darn," Casey said looking down towards the ground, "I thought we were gonna look at the **surprise**."

Alex raised an eyebrow.

"Hmmm, maybe we still can." she said her lips pulling into a smirk.

"What?" Itachi asked, "How are you gonna do that?"

"The nurses and guards aren't that smart we'll just walk her out as if nothing is wrong." Alex said, "But that means **you-" **she looked at Casey, "can't flip out while we're walking to the rehab center."

Gaara turned his head to look at Neji who looked sad as he sat on the ground alone.

"Can we take Neji with us?" he asked walking over to Neji and helping him off the ground.

Alex sighed.

"Sure, why not? The more the merrier." she said. Gaara and Neji smiled and jumped up and down like two highly caffeinated school girls.

"Wait." Gaara said stopping his moronic jumping, "Don't they have like a bed check for the insane asylum?"

Alex turned her head to Casey as if to ask for an answer.

"They won't check me." Casey said "Yesterday they gave me a truck load of drugs that should have knocked me out for three days and I doubt they'll check Neji since he's so new."

"Good then let's head towards the doors before we get stuck here." Itachi said, and with that they left the asylum and went to 'rehab' center.

* * *

**A/N:** To those of you who are oblivious...(slow and redneck-like voice) O-Blivv-eee-us (random) to the fact that I love to be sooooooo HORRIBLY RANDOOOMM that I just kinda put totally stupid things in my stories, author notes, and cereal (random) that I... shut up Alex I'm trying to write. Wow there I go again, WHOOOOOTT. Hey mama done told you not to put tape on it. CaCaw CaCaw I'm being attacked by flying drunken ... bunny popsicles ... ummm... OF DOOOM? WTF, oh screw it I'm... yea ndfjkanjkvhklanj... done with this farfignugen. THE END. 

**Itachi: What... the ...hell? If I weren't a made up fictional character than I'd soooo... get Kisame and all his fishiness on you. **

**Gaara: NOOOO! (Tackles Itachi) YOU CAN'T SAY THAT TO HER! IF YOU DO SHE CAN DO ANYTHING TO YOU...ANY THINGGGG...cows. **

**Itachi: Yeah right that ...GIRL (demon spawn)... can't do shizzle to me. **

**Gaara: Shizzle? **

**Itachi: Uhh... never mind. **

**InsanoPyro: Hmmm... What shall I do to make this Itachi GIRL regret the day she messed with me? (Light bulb over her head) I've got it! (Snaps fingers)**

**Itachi: (singing off key and wearing a tight red leather mini skirt & a tube top) _With the taste of your lips I'm on a ride..._**

**Gaara: Wow, he makes a hot girl.**

**InsanoPyro: (raises an eyebrow to Gaara)**

**Itachi: ..._You're Toxic I'm slippin' under._**

**InsanoPyro: Okay that's enough. (Snaps) **

**Itachi: PLEASE DON'T EVER MAKE ME DO THAT AGAIN! I'LL DO ANYTHING.**

**InsanoPyro: Fine, don't make fun of my writing again okay... I mean it's hard out here for a pimp!**

**Gaara: You're not a pimp!**

**InsanoPyro: You wanna wear girl's clothes and sing to Britney Spears? **

**Gaara: No, please. **

**InsanoPyro: (rolls eyes) ... And the day is saved ... (frowns) ... (scratches out saved) ...let's start that over... And the day is horribly, horribly ruined thanks to ... InsanoPyro!**

**Gaara: But we helped too, aren't you gonna mention us? (Steps next to InsanoPyro)**

**InsanoPyro: (glares) No, shut up. (Pushes Gaara out of the way and smiles)**

**Gaara: (cries on the floor)**

**Spooky: SQUEAK! **

**Casey: That's right Spooky you will get the hose. (Smiles)**

**Itachi: (frowns) WHAT!**

**InsanoPyro: It's a cow thing.**

**Itachi: (head explodes)**

**

* * *

For all you peeps who dream of seeing what Spooky looks like go to my profile and click on the link. If not done in 15 seconds your head may possibly and probably explode. (Smiles and says in cutesy voice) I...I...I dunno (giggles) cheese. That's it... no really that's it... bye... STOP TRYING TO TAKE MY GOVERNMENT CHEESE! and stuff (whatever just read and review ...(smiles and mutters) ya limey bastards (what? Every audience needs to be abused every now and then) **


	6. To Lazy to Think of A Name

******Itachi Goes To Rehab**

******Last time:**

**Gaara turned his head to Neji. He sat on the ground alone looking sad and the perfect image of emo.**

**"Can we take Neji with us?" he asked walking over to Neji and helping him off the ground.**

**Alex sighed.**

**"What the heck, the more the merrier." she said simply. Gaara and Neji smiled and jumped up and down like two highly caffeinated school girls.**

**"Wait." Gaara said stopping their moronic jumping, "Don't they have a bed check for the asylum or something?"**

**Alex turned her head to Casey as if to ask for an answer.**

**"They won't check me." Casey said "Yesterday they gave me a truck load of drugs that should have knocked me out for three days and I doubt they'll check Neji since he's so new."**

**"Good then let's head towards the doors before we get stuck here." Itachi said, and with that they left the asylum and went to 'rehab' center.**

* * *

******Chapter 6: Too Lazy to Think of a Name**

**Once they were all inside the rehab center they all walked to Itachi and Alex's room. Their room was about the same as the other rooms in the building except their room didn't have any windows so that the patients in that room wouldn't hurt themselves or someone else. Alex was placed in a room by herself after she had almost cut Sakura's throat for saying that she looked exceptionally tall one day. (A/N: Even though she would have tried even if she'd said she looked nice)**

**Other than the no windows part, Itachi and Alex's room was quite normal if you didn't count the huge box of disturbing things that Alex kept under her bed cleverly labeled..."Disturbing things"(A/N: Hehe me so clever). In their room there were two beds, a night light (for those truly scary stormy nights), and a large dresser for their clothes. Itachi sat on the bed on the left side of the room and laid down. Casey walked around the room looking all over it.**

**"You guys have a pretty nice room," she said, "my room's pretty small. It only has one bed with restraining straps and leg clamps... But my walls have cool padding for play time with Mister Crashdummy or as the doctors like to call him...Lance."**

**Alex glared at her sister and shook her head walking over to her bed. She took a seat on it next to Gaara and Neji who were giggling quietly peeking in they bag they had brought in.**

**Itachi frowned, "Hey," he said sitting up, "what's in that bag Kankurou gave you?"**

**Gaara and Neji stopped giggling and their eyes got big.**

**"Uhhh... nothing." Neji said.**

**"Then why were you two giggling so much?" Itachi asked, his curiousity growing largely.**

**"Err... you caught us. It's laxitives. You want some?" Casey said quickly.**

**"Ummm... heh heh heh NO, no thank you." Itachi said laying back down.**

**"What should we do now?" Casey asked growing impatient.**

**"Oh! Oh! I know! We could-" Gaara started**

**"No." Casey said, cutting him off.**

**"If not that, then we could-" Neji tried**

**"No." Casey repeated.**

**"Then can we at least-" Neji and Gaara said together.**

**"No." Casey repeated.**

**"Will you at least let them finish a sent-?" Itachi asked. (A/N: Anyone who's too stupid to know he was going to say sentence)**

**"Nope." Casey said.  
**

**"Oh, shut up Casey. You have no right to tell them what they can and can't do." Alex said.**

**"Yeah, you just hate us a 'cuz we're black!" Gaara said quickly.**

**"YEAH! We are straight up gangsters homie." Neji added.**

**"I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun!" Gaara said, pulling out said squirt gun.**

**The room went silent.**

**"What are you talking about! What are you on? Crack, Smack, Coke, LSD, PCP? Seriously, let me know! I want some!" Casey shouted.**

**"Dumbass! It's the meds! And they give you the same stuff that they give us." Gaara replied.**

**"Only double." Alex added.**

**"Oh, yeah!" Casey said. "Thats probably the reason tha-"**

**"Shut up!" Itachi yelled. The room went silent again. "Geez, what is wrong with you people. Casey and Gaara, you're both acting like a bunch of..." He stopped noticing the two sets of eyes trying to burn holes through his flesh.**

**"Crazies?" Alex pitched in.**

**Itachi glared at her. Casey and Gaara glared at Itachi.**

**"Just show me what is in the bag." Itachi begged using full chibi power.**

**Casey's right eye began to twitch, "What bag?" She asked.**

**"That bag that Gaara has in his hand! You know, the one that Kankurou gave him." Itachi replied pointing a finger across the room to Gaara who was clutching the bag tightly.**

**Suddenly, the door flew open and a wild Kankurou jumped into the room landing on his hands and knees. **

**"I'M A KITTY AND A KITTY GO MEW, MEW," ****Kankurou shrieked in a horribly retarded voice, pa****wing the air with a balled up hand. "KITTY GO MEW, MEW, MEW, MEW MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW!"**

**For several minutes the room stayed quiet, all eyes were on the horrible cat-boy Kankurou. Then the silence was broken by the sound of Alex's horribly pissed off voice.**

**"What... the hell ...did...that ...have to do with ANYTHING?"**

**"DUDE, HOW DID YOU EVEN KNOW THAT WE WERE HERE?" Casey shouted.**

**Kankurou looked as if he hadn't even heard them. **

**"Umm, I-I I duno, I just kinda heard my name and thought I'd make a heroic entry."**

**"How was that heroic?" Gaara asked, "You're not a super hero and I didn't feel as if I were safe when you said you were a 'kitty and a kitty go mew, mew'".**

**Kankurou frowned.**

**"I am too a super hero! I'm a SUPA KITTAH!" he said standing in a hero-type stance.**

**Itachi rolled his eyes.**

**_'Man' _Itachi thought, '_Whoever writes this story needs serious help, I mean man no one could possibly write a story this completely RANDOM!' _**

**(A/N: Yeah I know it's just kind of a talent.)**

**Casey smirked. **

**"Well Kank-" **

**"SUPA KITTY!" **

**"Well ... Supa Kitty, if you think your such a cool super hero why don't you show us how you fly?" Casey said all sly-like.**

**"Fine!" Kankurou replied, "But I'm gonna need a window." **

**"Then we're going to have to go to another room," Alex said, "since there are no windows in here." **

**"Then let's go next door to 'The Dark Side'," Neji said, "I hear they've got cookies." **

**"Why do you call it 'The Dark Side' Neji?" Casey asked. **

**"Because," Neji said walking over to the front of the room, "the room has a sign over the door that literally says 'The Dark Side'."**

**"Let's go already." Itachi said getting up and walking out the door. Everyone else followed as Itachi entered the next door room. Once in said room everyone crowded around the window in the back of the room. Itachi, using his mighty powerful arms, opened the window. Kankurou hopped up onto the windowsill. **

**"Here I go." Kankurou said nervously. "Off to prove something horribly dangerous to you." **

**"If you can't do it Kankurou it's alright." Alex said sarcastically. **

**"No it's not," Gaara whispered, jabbing Alex with his elbow. "if he dies, I get his toys!" Kankurou stood hesitantly on the windowsill trying to work up the courage to try and fly off the edge. **

**"You know-" Kankurou was interupped by Itachi, **

**"Just go!" he said pushing Kankurou out of the building. Everyone watched as Kankurou fell to the ground and as he lay groaning in pain. **

**"Sucks." Casey said turning around and walking towards the door. **

**"Bored now." Itachi said, "Okay show me what's in the bag."**

**DUN DUN DUNNNNNN... **

**RANDOM HAPPY TIME!**

**Itachi: I feel you creepin up, I can see it from my shadow,**

**Gaara: Wanna jump up in my Lamborghini Gallardo**

**Casey: Baby come to my place and just kick it like taebo**

**Itachi, Gaara, and Casey: (look to Alex)**

**Alex: ... NO... just just j-just NO!**

**Itachi:(dressed up all gangsta: track suit, grills and bling) damn guurl why u gotta be like dat?**

**Alex: (mouth wide open in disbelief then shakes head) The whole entire black race is officially dead thanks to you and your ridiculous outfit/ slang-ness**

**Itachi: Oh, really cuz i got this outfit from YO' MOMMA!**

**BACK TO THE STORY!**

**"Seriously, what's in the bag?" Itachi asked towering over the young Casey.**

**THE END! **

**Insano pyro: Just kidding, but you do have to wait for next chapter. We'll get it to you quicker than last update... WAY quicker**

**Spooky: (squeak)**

**Alex: Read and review, whores. (Lol, I kid)**


End file.
